Eulogy

I’m swimming.

I look up, and all I see is the blue of water all around me. Then her substantial black body and her four black dog legs are swimming overhead. Like a dolphin playing near a ship, I twist slowly to avoid her churning feet, and watch her sail on. Moments later, I am sitting at the edge of the pool, soaking up the sight of my family playing in the water, in the sun. She comes to sit beside me and I reach out to pat her back. I listen to the slap, slap, slapping sound of my hand on her fur, still heavy with water. These are some of the last moments with her that I would have, because later that night, she would die, passing from this life to the next while we slept.

Since we aren’t having a funeral for Bindi, and her body already rests somewhere in the desert, under a tree, where Nate says she can be in the shade, I felt I needed to memorialize her somehow.

On the day Bindi joined our family, she was young, but not a baby, kind of like us. We were still newlyweds and went to get her within hours of learning that she was looking for a home. We introduced her to our backyard and imagined she would like it there, but after 4 days and nights of crying and standing with her nose pressed to the back door, she got her way and became an inside dog. She was an instant member of the family, accompanying us on snow trips, trips to the pool, and even one crazy middle-of-the-night drive to the beach, and camping. Camping with Bindi was something to look forward to. She was her best self when she was camping. She loved having her family outside with her all the time, and she loved chewing pinecones and exploring the forest. We had to put a glow stick on her collar at night because she blended in with the darkness.

I’ve said before that if Bindi could talk, I know she would make me laugh. She had a funny, cheerful personality. She knew when to be serious too. She learned all the rules and obeyed them (mostly). We never could convince her not to jump up when people came to the house to visit. She didn’t jump onto them, just up high in front of them, the better to see their face. She had a loving nature and welcomed all people and dogs to our home.

My ears miss her. She was really pretty loud as far as dogs go, and not because of barking (although I was proud the first time I heard her big, deep bark). Her panting could be heard by people on the other end of the phone. She also had some sinus thing or apnea that made her snore loudly in her sleep, but she could be silenced with a firm SSSHHH! Whenever she put her nose to the ground and went around sniffing, the same apnea thing caused her to make a chugging sound, like a train. And lately, she always let out a long groan as she lowered her body to the ground to lay down – probably because of sore hips. All these sounds became a part of our home and our lives, and it feels quiet, even with the three kids running around.


Seems like a lot to say about a smelly, hairy dog. It’s OK if you think I’m weird. I think I’m weird. I didn’t think I would love an animal this way, but I did. I do.

Bindi May 5 2000 - June 30 2009

Freeday

Jane and I sometimes talk about how we wish there was a day called Freeday. A day where you could relax and play, or if you had to, you could use it to catch up on stuff you can't do during the other seven days of the week. It would probably fall somewhere around the weekend - Thursday, Friday, Freeday, Saturday - or maybe it would be a floating day that you just insert anywhere you feel you could use an extra day. Today it felt like we got our wish. It was one of our lucky Fridays that we get during the summer when Nate works four 10 hour days and then his office is closed on Friday. We all did some jobs in the morning (as I suppose one would still have to do on an average Freeday), then we got to lazy around the house. I was at the computer, Nate was on the couch with the remote, the kids were in the basement (ahh), and there was nothing else we felt like doing at the moment. When there was a knock at the door, everyone rushed to welcome our guest, Chuck. Chuck is our friends' new puppy who came for a sleepover while his family is out of town. After introducing him to our own doggie and getting him settled in the backyard, we had lunch and stuck Luke in bed for a nap, then we picked up right where we left off with our various diversions. At 3:00 we went swimming at our old house. It was the perfect day to swim. The sun was hot and the water was cool, but not cold. We showed Chuck how to swim and we all paddled around the pool until the clock said it was time to go home. We brought home Sonic burgers and drinks for dinner, then Nate put on some Michael Jackson music (in honor of the late, great) and we danced. Later, the kids and I played outside with the two dogs until the sun went to bed.

Not all of Nate's Friday's off are like this. We probably should have been doing more, and we'll have to make up for it tomorrow (which isn't how Freeday is supposed to be), but it's one of those days that I'll remember.

Jane is getting a few pointers from Dad on her dancing. This is to help her avoid dancing in the style of Elaine Benes of TV's Seinfeld.

Bindi and Chuck walk around side by side and kiss all day. He's too young for her, though.

Slushes

The kids and I have gotten Sonic slushes several times this summer. I'm hooked on the Cherry Lime slush. Jane favors lemon-berry, while Luke and Lucy like the fake grape and watermelon flavors. I'm pretty sure that each kid at different times has used the straw to break up the slush for better drinkability, only to end up poking the straw straight through the styrofoam cup. Why do they all have to do it? Don't they learn from watching their sibling cry and moan over having their dribbling cup snatched away by mom and hurried to the nearest trash receptacle? If they can't learn from each others' experiences, does that mean I will have to teach them each separately all of the same things? Will I have to explain to Lucy and then to Luke, just as I have to Jane about sharing and hitting, about why we don't pray to Santa, why we're not democrats, how the toilet works, electricity, fireworks, thunderstorms? One day I became overwhelmed, thinking about all the things I want to teach them. Isn't it my job to make sure they know everything I know? I started making lists in my head of skills I should pass on like crocheting, photography, sewing, writing, singing...

Then I stopped worrying. I thought about all those things and realized that those are not things I learned from my mother. I picked up most of those things from books or by practicing, just because they were things I wanted to be good at. My mother did teach me how to cook, how to french braid hair, and probably all of the homemaking skills that I have. She also taught me to invite the weird, smelly girl to my birthday party because how would I feel if I was the one who got left out? Then when I was the one who got left out, she taught me that girls can be mean and that the fact that I was the target of their treachery didn't necessarily mean anything was wrong with me. She taught me about Jesus Christ, and about prayer and recognizing the answers when they came. She taught me about faith and obedience, integrity, forgiveness... Now that, I can teach. Those are things that I still work on every day, so it's easy to teach my children as I go along. As long as I teach them how to be good human beings, whatever skills and talents they pick up on their own are just bonus features. And if they end up poking a few holes in styrofoam cups, I guess they'll learn about that on their own too.

Summertime Blues

Isn't summer supposed to be relaxing? We haven't had much time to unwind yet this summer. We moved 2 weeks before Jane finished school, so between unpacking, taking photos, entertaining kids and maintaining 2 houses, I'm still waiting for things to slow down.

Speaking of two houses...Since we have an offer on the house we recently moved from, we have to make sure we keep the weeds and the pool under control.

Like this.

I also have a garden that's still growing over there, so I water it and pick the vegetables every few days.

Before

After!

Last Saturday, Nate and I each had been in and out of the house a few times doing a few jobs. As I was leaving the house with the kids, I hit the button to shut the garage, but it only went down about 2 feet and then froze. "Aw Craaap". I said. I hit it again, and it went down 2 more feet and froze. I got out of the car thinking Great, Nate's gonna be mad that there is yet another thing to fix at this house we don't even live in. I checked the sensors to see if they were aligned. I waved my hand in front of one of them, and the garage went up! That's never happened before. Must be something wrong with the sensors. I ran back and forth between the button on the wall and the button in my car, stepping over the invisible line made by the sensors a few times. But the stupid thing just wouldn't go all the way down. Just as I was getting ready to disengage the opener from the door and close it by hand, I hear "Beep!" That's the pathetic little horn on Nate's truck. He's parked behind my car, just out of sight LAUGHING HIS BUTT OFF with his finger on his garage remote. Hilarious Nate. I laughed/cried/punched his arm a little bit because it was pretty funny/embarrassing/really mean. Then I didn't give him the drink I had that he wanted.

I'm not in the mood to be teased due to my latest project (see below).

I hope to blog more often now, simply because every time I check my blog feeds and see that someone has gifted me with something new to read, I feel guilty because I don't pay anybody back with a post of my own. Hope everyone is having a happy summer!

Halfaday

While I was packing to move today, I found a book about face painting that came with some face paints. Since Jane had early release today and usually spends all day asking for something to do, I thought I would let her play with it. I knew she would like it, but man! She was all over it like honey on a hot biscuit! She stood in the bathroom all afternoon and painted and repainted her face. Lucy had several makeovers, and Luke did too. If only I had known... I have bought her so many crafty things that require me to stay right there and help, if only to contain the mess. This turned out to be one activity that required no help or supervision from me plus she actually entertained the younger ones, and all it cost me in the end was a minute of wiping down the bathroom (and whatever the paints cost me about 12 years ago).

I already felt like Nice Mommy for that little bit of fun. Then when they came running in and told me the ice cream truck was coming up the street (Luke was chanting "Ice.Cream.Ice.Cream."), I remembered the money they got from Grandma's Easter eggs. They each had a 1 dollar coin pressed into their palms when the truck rolled up. It was their first ice cream truck encounter. Luke loved his green push-up which he thought was a drink. Lucy chose a cherry italian ice with a gumball at the bottom. Jane got a fudge bar. What?! A fudge bar? I have those in our freezer all the time. At least the girl knows what she likes. Thanks Grandma for the dollars!

Oh, and Luke ate poop today. He came up to me saying "unh, unh, uhn" with his mouth hanging slack and handed me what was unmistakably a little marble turd from his own diaper. It had a bite out of it. Boys are awesome.

This is what happened yesterday when I picked up the phone to talk to Nate for a minute. I was mad at first, but then I told him good job for stacking them so high! Talented son of mine.

Baby!

Katelyn and Brian's little girl was born on Saturday night! Her name is Lily Jill. Nate and I got to meet her yesterday. Here's a few pics.

Easy Care

While I was washing some dishes today, Luke came and asked me for something. I have no idea what he was asking for because I was distracted by how disgusting he looked. His hair was full of some sticky substance and it was standing up in every direction. His face had at least three layers of different goop encircling his mouth and his hands looked like he was wearing dirt gloves (to be fair, he had, in fact, been digging in the dirt). So I put the dishes down and thought to myself I'll wash that one instead. I laid him down on the counter and stuck his head under the running water. I just used the dish soap that was right there to lather his head, then I rinsed and patted his head dry with a paper towel. Using the same paper towel, I cleaned up his face and hands, then styled his hair with my fingers, put him down on the floor and patted his butt. Two minute makeover complete! I'm sure others before me have figured out how easy it is to take care of boys, but I'm used to girls with the bathing and the blow drying and the brushing. I would take more boys for many reasons, but this just adds another big one to the list.


This wasn't from today. Same boy, different mess.

Hailee Needs Stuff Too

A Special Space

To find a Forever Home

A Horse

To stop hitting

Free music downloads

LadySports Full Wrestling videos

A newspaper for Paul Johnston headlining all actions and thoughts between Hailee and Paul.

Timberland Tall Boots

A Labrador Retriever

52 Perfect Days

Nate Needs ...

Go to google and google " (Your name ) needs" and write down the first 10 things:

1. Nate needs help.

2. Nate needs a haircut.

3. Nate needs explosive thermal detonating muffins to fight evil. (I swear that was in there. I can't make this stuff up.)

4. Nate needs your votes.

5. Needs to Make More Plays to Earn His Salary. (Huh?)

6. Nate needs an assistant.

7. Nate needs a permanent home.

8. Nate needs a strong human pack leader who will teach him boundaries.

9. Nate needs a job.

10. Nate needs a car.

Try it. It's pretty funny.

Shower!

This post is mainly for Allison and Sommer who couldn't make it to Katelyn's baby shower. It's also for me because I think everything turned out so cute!


Pretty food and cotton candy (made by my Dad).


Appliqued onesies double as party decorations




Grandma Jackson, Aunt Jennifer and Camryn sharing treats.

Don't look at Katelyn's expression. Look at the sweater. I made it!

Katelyn set rules about the position from which I was allowed to take photos. I broke a rule.

Katelyn likes the dress sent all the way from Utah.

My New Blog

Good News! I have started a new blog for my photography and for a 365 day photo challenge! Please subscribe to the blog so I'll feel the pressure to keep it updated! Those of you who know our prior blogging record may be sceptical about my ability to post every day, but give me the benefit of the doubt and head on over to see my first post! I'm hoping that the excessive use of exclamation points will add to the excitement and entice you to check back often! Go here!

http://haileephotos.blogspot.com

25 things...

1. I use to play the Violin. I was just ok at it. Keep in mind though that when your kids start playing the violin there is what sounds like “nails on a chalkboard” screeching for about a year.

2. I have more guns than I would like to admit. (7…I think)

3. I watch My Fair Lady when it comes on TV. (I would never intentionally put such a girly movie on but if I am channel surfing I’ll stop and watch).

4. I dunked a basketball…once. I have witnesses. It was awesome.

5. I have been mugged. (I was 13 and was puking behind a building at the State Fair and some guy tried to take my hat. He didn’t get it)

6. My parents got arrested in a Russian airport and I got them out by telling the police they were stupid Americans. Yes I guess I called my mother stupid, but it got her out of jail. Two things I thought I would never do: call my mother stupid and get my mother out of jail.

7. I have never kissed anyone besides my wife.

8. I love using public transportation. In fact, I got the best grades I ever had when I rode the bus.

9. I fell asleep and missed my transfer on the bus and went all the way to the MAYO clinic (It was far). The bus driver kicked me off the bus and said he was on break (I was the only one on). I got back on after his break and was about 2 hours late getting home.

10. Some people probably know this but I married my best friend’s girlfriend. To me that’s not the funny part. The funny part is, 10 years later, we are still best friends. He was even the Best Man at my wedding. ("The Better Man")

11. I love the beach but I cannot stand being sandy. It gets everywhere! Nooks and crannies that you didn’t know you had! It stays in your ears for weeks!

12. I can’t stand cockroaches. Big ones. I once had one fly and hit me in the forehead and other time I looked down in the shower and one had crawled all the way up to my knee. Nasty.

13. I have watched the same SportsCenter 4 times in a row. (They replay them on a loop in the morning) Da na na… Da na na

14. My first year at GCC I took Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday classes so I could go to BYU on the weekends. I flew for free. (One of the classes was co-ed volleyball. What a great class.) One time I didn’t spend a dime thanks to a fellow blogger finding me a ride and the girls at Helaman feeding us. I guess it would have been a totally free weekend but my dad wouldn’t come and pick me up from the airport so I had to shell out $17 bucks for a Super Shuttle. I am still mad about that one.

15. I sing Sweet Child O Mine loudly every time it comes on.

16. I once caught a huge 6 lb. 18" bass with my bare hands at Canyon Lake. I felt like a bear catching salmon. I smacked it out of the water and onto the shore. *Grrrrrr*

17. I wore bifocals from the age of 4 to about 12. They were coke bottles. Really thick, really nerdy.

18. I like Coke better than Pepsi but Diet Pepsi better than Diet Coke but Dr. Pepper is all I really drink.

19. I was Pre-Med for about a year and then I realized I didn't want to go to that much school. I also realize that this is not unique to me. I think everybody is pre-"something" and realizes that it's too much school and does something else.

20. My first car was brand new (15 miles on it but I put 12 of them on during the test drive) and it was completely paid for. So much for that. That will never happen again.

21. I know Excel better than anyone I know. Here’s a tip. If you have to add a bunch of cells up, try Alt and the “=”. See what happens.

22. I love the Suns. I love to watch basketball. I am really good at it too (Watching it). I suck at playing it.

23. I once changed the oil in both of my cars in under 30 minutes. Which reminds me, I think I am overdue to change them now.

24. I want a blackberry, really bad. Is that wrong?

25. This list was brutal. I can’t believe I did it. In high school or college I would have probably done only 15 or 20 and hope for a “B”. I guess when you work full time, married with kids at home a “B” is ok. Right?


BTW - Tag Hailee you're it.

Don't Adjust Your Screen

Your eyes are not deceiving you. Yes, it's a new post from our long-silent blog! After the super busy rush of family photo shoots that happened well into December, I spent the rest of the month avoiding my camera altogether and soaking up the Christmas activities with my kids. It has taken me a long time to get Christmas decorations put away and catch up on many many things that have been put off for too long. But I was obliged to dust off my camera last week when I photographed my little sister's growing belly and I was reminded of the fun photos that have been sitting in my camera. Click to see them big!


My family has always liked the light parade that happens at the beginning of December, but other obligations usually prevent us from going. This year, we all decided we definitely wanted to go. There was much shirking of prior commitments, but everyone made it and we had a splendid time sipping hot cocoa and eating donuts while we watched the glittering lights.


I was pleased to host our family Christmas party, which actually happened a few days after Christmas so we could include Allison's family who drove down for an extended visit. It had been almost a year since we had seen my sister! That's really hard to get used to when I spent every day of my life with her growing up (and every night putting my legs on her when we shared a bed), and we lived only a few minutes away from each other since then. Seeing her just made the missing worse. *sniff*


Sommer's kids stole the show with their Chinmunks and their rendition of Jingle Bells.


Lots of presents were opened, and all the kids got to play together again.

I blog in my head all the time. Sometimes I even take pictures with the idea of blogging about them, but at the end of the day, I'm usually a tired mommy and it's much easier to just get in bed and eat something chocolatey. I should consider blogging in the morning...

Beautiful People

Nate's parents came by on their way to an office party. Nate thought they looked nice (I thought they smelled nice), so I took a photo. How nice!


Nate was nice enough to stand in for a test shot while I was setting up my lighting. I was nice enough to post it here so you could take a guess at what he ate for dinner. Click to see it nice and big.

Just to be fair...











This is me getting tired of Nate taking test shots of me. Nice.
There are so many more interesting/beautiful things I could post about, but for some reason, this is what I came up with.

SUMO!!!

Our friends Ryan and Michelle are in town and today they invited us over to their parents' house. They had Sumo suits!!! That's Ryan in the red and Nate in the blue. (Sorry for the quality. It was taken with my phone.)

Reasons Not to Iron

As if anyone needs a reason not to iron. I have never felt like I even know how to iron, let alone the fact that I just don't like doing it. But today, I was a good little wifey and decided to repair some clothes and iron some other ones. I set up the ironing board in the living room, where I had a partial view of Luke and Lucy watching TV in the other room. Everything seemed nice and quiet until I decided to go look in on them. As I walked in the room, Lucy held up something small and exclaimed, "Look what Lukey did!" with an accusatory tone in her voice. It didn't take me long to realize that it was a key from the laptop that had been left out on the couch! After I pulled my hands away from the sides of my face, I examined the (newish) computer and found that Luke had pried off a bunch of keys - 6 and 2 halfs to be exact. I was sweating and freaking out while I looked closely at the keys to see if any little parts had snapped off. After I got the hang of how they should go back on, I turned and looked at Luke, who already knew he was in big trouble. He got his poor dimpled little hand spanked and he had to listen to a stern scolding.


Is it wrong to take pictures of my kid while I'm lecturing him?

Now Nate is reading this on his laptop and looking to see if he can tell which keys were severed. He's lucky he wasn't here to see the laptop with bare spots where keys should be.

By the way, dear. I ironed your purple dress shirt so you can wear it with your Suns ties on game day. Gotta support the team. Go suns.

Kids in Costumes

It's a day early, but I had time to do this earlier in the week, so here's the Halloween photos. I thought Luke would HATE his doggie costume, but he loved it. He was so happy just walking, walking, walking everywhere in it. Lucy picked an old Sleeping Beauty dress from her dress-up drawer (lucky for me) and Jane likes her bride costume because it's LONG.

Wednesday Review

Yesterday was a Big, Big day for me. Normal days for me typically have a lot of A.D.D. moments where I get sidetracked from one project after another and it's hard to get anything done. Sometimes I just get stuck in a time warp where hours are sucked out of my day before I'm returned to the normal space-time continuum. But not yesterday. Here is a review of my day.

1. Read Scriptures, Made 3 breakfasts and one lunch, scooted Jane out the door to School.

2. Shower!

3. Paid some bills, wrote a note to a Visiting Teaching sister, mailed it.

4. Loved on Luke for a while.

5. Cleaned my Dirty kitchen.

6. Walmart trip for some grocery basics and some Halloween Essentials.

7. Lunch!

8. Dirtied my Clean Kitchen while making chili for ward Halloween party.

9. Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer.

10. Charged camera battery, erase memory card, collect photo gear.

11. Made a ti leaf lei for my Halloween costume.

12. Gathered costumes and accessories for kids.

13. Went to do a photo shoot for a nice family.

14. Went to ward Halloween Party. Trunk or Treat!

15. Kids in bed. Yeah!

16. I voted (early)!

17. Worked on editing photos of another Nice Family until yesterday turned into today.

Today I did a lot of nothing.

I did a little more work on photos, but mostly I wasted time online. Then I made this:

Spaghetti and Eyeballs. Spooky.

Enjoy Luke enjoying spaghetti.